Update: I tried using $ifequal and $substr to detect if %path% started with "http", but it didn`t work because apparently $ifequal is for numbers only...?
$ifequal($substr(%path%,1,4),http,📻,💿)
So then I converted "http" to a number and IT WORKED!
$ifequal($replace($substr(%path%,1,4),http,1337),1337,📻,💿)
I don't know if there is a better way to do this, but at least it is working as expected for now
The final result looks like this. I really don't know how to format, so here is a beautiful and awkward long line
$ifequal($replace($substr(%path%,1,4),http,1337),1337,📻,💿)[%album%[ '('$year(%date%)')']$ifgreater(%totaltracks%,1, '['%tracknumber%/%totaltracks%']',)]